It may not be apparent to me now what's going on, but thankfully I don't need to pray like others to know.  Somewhere deep down is a boy named "Hope".  You see, Hope is who has helped me through so many problems.  "We can make it through anything, we're a team," he'd always reassure me, and I guess that is what helped me most.  I'm eternally grateful to him, but I don't think I show it to him enough.  You see, Hope hasn't been around lately... I think he's ignoring my overwhelming being.  I think he thinks I'm too much to handle... too much work for that one boy named Hope to handle.  Hope has been replaced with Truth.  Truth is harsh to me, and although I know He is looking out for me too, I don't necessarily want to hear just from him.  Hope looked out for me by saying "Someone needs to keep you warm" and he always rubbed my shoulder to make me feel better.  Truth can be really distant, not to be mean though, I know that for sure, he just needs time for himself.  Hope took time for himself, but was always by my side no matter the circumstance, he disregarded everything around him to help me.  I can't say that it didn't make me feel beautiful and special.  Hope made me believe with all of my heart that at least there was one person out there for me, ready to do anything to help, and I was always ready to help him too, no matter what (still am).  Truth... he isn't the most sensitive person, he can never be too attached to one person, which makes sense.  After all, there's no one in this world you can trust, not even yourself.
I'm not trying to say Truth is a bad friend or blame him for my problems; I'm trying to say that he is not the same as Hope.  They both have different methods to help me... and both do, but Hope helped me more.  I'm too overwhelmed over stupid things now, so Truth took over to give Hope a break.  Maybe Hope just got exhausted and decided he didn't want to be my friend anymore, maybe he became too busy with other things, I'll never be sure... until he comes back.  If you can understand how best friends care for each other, then you'll understand how I will never give up on Hope.  He may be faraway for now, but I think that maybe, eventually, he'll come back with arms spread open to say "You're a part of me, my heart is so black without you."
And then Hope will no longer someone to look back on, no longer someone who left the world, no longer a dead memory for me to cry over.  He will come back and patch my broken black heart, and he'll smile... and then I'll smile, something I haven't done in a long time ~